That’ll teach um

[from the New York TIMES]
The Cleveland man accused of holding three women captive in his home for a decade entered a guilty plea on Friday in order to avoid the death penalty. 
The man, Ariel Castro, 53, pleaded guilty to 937 counts, including rape and kidnapping, in a plea agreement with prosecutors. Under the deal, he would spend life in prison without parole and receive 1,000 additional years.
All right… now Mrs. N. is no longer at all interested in the crime or the person who committed it.  I admit my interest was initially drawn to the question of what kind of a maniac would WANT to spend ten years with THREE women locked in their house when every man on the planet knows that one woman locked in your house is more than enough to make you want to kill yourself.  The guy, Ariel Castro, 53, obviously had an oversized helping of mental difficulties.  But who can think about that now?
All I can think about is what must have gone on in the conference room down at Prosecutorial Headquarters.  Who was it that came up with the idea that LIFE in prison without the possibility of parole wasn’t enough to teach this poor crazy bastard “enough” of a lesson?  I mean…. How did this go down?
Who was the first one to say that being locked in a cage until you die of old age isn’t enough punishment?  AND, what the hell does 1000 additional years even mean?  Did one of the prosecutors suggest an extra 500 years, and another yell out “That’s too fucking good for the bastard!”…?  Did they finally settle on 1000 years extra because they got word from Mr. Castro’s defense team that if the offer was LIFE plus 1250 years they were prepared to fight for their client until hell freezes over?  Or… perhaps the only question really worth trying to get an answer for…  When they presented this ridiculous idea to the Judge, why the hell didn’t he say…. “OK, get the fuck out of my court and don’t come back until you’re not high any more.”
LOS ANGELES — Besieged by accusations of sexual harassment, Mayor Bob Filner of San Diego announced Friday that he would enter two weeks of what he described as intensive behavior therapy, but he refused to bow to a flood of demands that he step aside.  Mr. Filner, 70, in a hastily called news conference, apologized to his staff, his city, his supporters and “most of all, to the women I have offended.”
I watched his live news conference on television as I ate my lunch.  Standing at his side, just to his left, as he confessed to being a shameless serial groper of female flesh was one of his female assistance holding a notebook and papers.  All I could think of was how glad I was that it wasn’t me standing there confessing.  If it were me, of course, the news conference would have gone quite differently.
As my readers are aware I am the carrier of a double compliment of [CL426], or, as it is referred to by geneticists… The cheap laugh gene.  Were it me I would have had no choice but to sneak my left hand around behind my young assistant and pinch her sharply on the behind, causing her to jump and cry out, right in the middle of my elaborate confession and heart felt promises never again to engage in such unseemly and un-gentleman like behavior.  I would deny doing it of course… suggest it was perhaps a flea.
The irony of this whole mess is that on that very day another famous person, and notorious groper of female flesh, was turning 70, the same age as our poor Mayor of San Diego.  He never had to apologize for his antics.  There were never any threats of him losing his job, or, requests that he step down.  The women he groped, rather than initiating legal suits and claims of serious psychological damage more often than not bragged to their friends, and treated their experience more like an honor than a crime.
The absurdity of it ALL is almost too beautiful.
Happy Birthday Mick
Kiss, kiss
Mrs. N.

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