FAT (the disease)

The Guardians of my nations health just declared obesity to be a disease.  This is, as the New York TIMES puts it… a move that could induce physicians to pay more attention to the condition and spur more insurers to pay for treatments.  A speaker for the AMA said this…

“The suggestion that obesity is not a disease but rather a consequence of a chosen lifestyle exemplified by overeating and/or inactivity is equivalent to suggesting that lung cancer is not a disease because it was brought about by individual choice to smoke cigarettes,”

Right…  And, of course, we all can see the beauty of that analogy.  Obesity and lung cancer, because both “diseases” go away when you stop engaging in the activity that causes them, rightfully belong in the same category.

So here I am again.  Alive and well in crazy land.

One-third of the people in America are obese.  Another third of the people in America are just fat, or, shall we just call them underachievers?  I don’t know.  The sun isn’t even really up yet and already my head hurts from trying to make some kind of sense out of what I hear and see around me.

I know that is my mistake.  I’m a repeat offender when it comes to that.  I keep trying to make sense of things when I know it’s silly.  Last week a person came into my office and told me that President Obama is trying to get the Congress to make him President for life.  I asked this person where he heard that and he said…  “It was on the news.”  

Stupid, fat, REALLY fucking fat… that seems pretty much to wrap up most of the categories, but, not all.  Sure there are some people out there that could be called “normal”, but, what does that mean in a world where normal is so rare.  How can it be normal if it’s that rare?  Ouch!

I have to blame myself for not seeing this “Fat being a Disease” business coming.  There have been “hints” of what was about to happen all around me for years.  Here are some examples of [HANDICAP] License Plates.  Take a good look at the handicap logo.  I bet you thought it was some representation of an unfortunate person in a wheelchair.

Well, it wasn’t!  It wasn’t that at all!  It was a picture of a person with an ass SO FUCKING BIG that, not only could they not park in any parking space more than a few feet from the fast food emporium they were headed for…  they were too fat to even go to work and earn their own keep.  Too fat, and that’s that.

The way things are going here in “America the Exceptional” I’m pretty sure we will see more license plates designed to designate just what kind of fucked up citizen… Excuse me… “diseased person” is behind the wheel.

This one will designate that the driver is a sufferer of “Shit for Brains” syndrome.  They won’t be able to work either, but, the logo will warn us that they will also be too stupid to use turn signals or remember that the passing lane is for passing.  As time goes on and more and more ways in which people are fucked up are rightfully recognized as “diseases” we can expect to see license plates specifically designating the drivers particular affliction in detail.  Little logos up in the corner, or off to the side, will clue you in.  Below are but two examples.

It’s a brave new world out there readers and it is going to take a special kind of bravery on your part to navigate your way through it.  Gone are the days of my youth when bullies ruled the school yards and gym teachers always made the fat kid climb the rope over and over again as the other kids laughed.  What am I saying?  The kids are so fat today that the very idea of any of them climbing a rope in gym class is out of the question.  FUCKING GYM CLASS IS OUT OF THE QUESTION!

Hey, what are you going to do friends?  As a species we have pretty much shot our load.  We are left to live in the mess we created.  We can sit around and piss & moan about how bad things are, or, we can try to enjoy ourselves with the tools at our disposal.  I have memories.  I have memories of times and places where things were not fucked up entirely.  I remember a time of standards and expectations when the crap that passes for normal today could never happen.    A time when we all paid a little bit more attention to how we were perceived by others because not to resulted in negative attention.

Hold on!  What am I saying?  Those were HORRIBLE days!  We actually used to be so cruel as to openly LAUGH at fat kids and adults.  We shunned assholes and fucking bastards in an attempt to drive them from among us.

We were so ignorant then.  We knew so little about psychology and the damage we were doing.

Who wants to go to the beach?

Kiss, kiss

Mrs. N.





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4 responses to “FAT (the disease)

  1. Art Fern

    Oh my goodness. Sometimes we have people make reservations for economy or compact cars. If they call in to make the rez, I’ve had conversations where I confirm “now, you know this is a SMALL car, right?” “uh..yeah” “So how many people are traveling?” “uh…..4” “OK, 4 adults?” “uh…duh….yeah, 4 growed ups” “OK, are you BIG people? Cuz you need to know this is a SMALLLLLLLLL car, like a Fiat 500….or a Ford Fiesta” “uuuuhhhhh……….OK”. Then when they show up they bitch the car isn’t big enough for them because they look like they’ve each eaten their own entire McDonalds location. Then I realize that’s why they’re traveling. They’ve eaten every fast food location, building and all, and have to forage in a new area while McDonald’s and Monsanto bring buildings in my helicopter to replace the one’s that have been eaten.

    But here’s the thing that gets me the worst: the groups protesting prejudice against fat people, demanding that stairways be replaced with escalators, aisles be widened, seats be made larger, all because they can’t control their forks. And the ones promoting that “plus size” girls are just as beautiful. Hey, on the one hand it’s good for birth control, you get as much satisfaction fucking a fold as you do the real thing but it’s also good for the diets of the rest of us: as we contemplate fucking one of those lard wagons, well, we lose our appetite.

    It’s kinda like the people trying to promote 60 as the new 40. 60 is 60, cocksuckers, and fat is fat. I can’t get any younger but at least I can keep myself from turning into a fat tub of goo. Matter of fact, I’m up to 60 crunches a day and 35 curls and 35 lifts with 15 lb dumbbells, morning and evening, as I try to strengthen my core so my lower back feels better……because by fucking chiropractor LIVES 5 HOURS AWAY, DAMMIT!

  2. So Art… tell us how you feel about fat people. They say one-third of Americans are obese, but, in the South it has to be… what… two-thirds? While you are doing crunches they are doing lunches….

  3. On ‘re-labeling’ something a ‘disease’ …. we see a lot of this in my field (psychology). A disease model works in part by removing personal responsibility, which is exactly what many people want: “I can’t help being overweight, I have a slow metabolism,” “I cannot help being depressed because I have a chemical imbalance,” and so on (e.g. “It’s not our fault”).

    Labeling something a disease also appears to legitimize the concern in a different way, since it is claimed to be based in ‘biology’ (as opposed to influenced by personal choice, societal values, or economic influences). However, it also individualizes the problem… we talk about people having diseases, but we don’t talk about a diseased culture or society. So in ignoring the real issues, we reinforce the status quo (the behavior is somewhat normalized), which is exactly what those in power want us to do.

  4. Not to mention, Brad, that we can now get insurance companies to pay for treating it. The University of Virginia (Thomas Jefferson’s School) recently opened a separate facility with overhead cranes in the ceiling that can lift any of the 50 patients and move them effortlessly from room to room and down the halls to various operating and diagnostic facilities. Like they move heavy machinery around in manufacturing plants. They specialize in bariatric surgery. The upper weight limit is 1000lbs.

    Close your eyes Brad and picture what a sight this must be.

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