Droning-on…

droning  present participle of drone (Verb)

Verb
  1. Make a continuous low humming sound.
  2. Speak tediously in a dull monotonous tone: “while Jim droned on”.

Merriam-Webster adds this.

1.   a stingless male bee (as of the honeybee) that has the role of mating with the queen and does not gather nectar or pollen.
 2.  one that lives on the labors of others : parasite
3.  an unmanned aircraft or ship guided by remote control.

That ties it together… there’s the connection.  You see, I read this in the New York TIMES this morning and it got me thinking about where this all goes.  Well,… read this, and we’ll talk.

This month the Obama administration came under attack for the use of drones and the excessive casualties they inflict on civilians. Taking the criticism seriously, the administration has announced the development of a new array of “smart drones” that pinpoint strikes with brutal accuracy. 

Mrs. N can’t help her poor head from throbbing and expanding & contracting in a most unpleasant and frightening manner when she reads something like this before she has had her tea and has watered all her orchids on a sunny sunday morning.    (That’s the kind of sentence you can read, tediously, in a dull monotonous tone, and save your proper punctuation for another time.)  You would be droning.  There is another kind of droning.  It’s the kind “our” administration is working on so that they can pin-point blow your ass up.  Who ever you are, and where ever you are.  BOOM!  …You are dead!   (drones look like this)

It’s squeaking on the inside of Mrs. N’s head now, as if pressure was building, and it was beginning to leak someplace where it isn’t screwed down tight.  Mrs N. tried to concentrate on something pleasant, and looked out the window hoping the noise would pass.

Once the hissing stopped and the teeth were no longer moving around in my mouth it occurred to me that this changes everything.  It’s Science Fiction time!  Armies and Navies and most of the Air Forces in existence are obsolete.  Going to war is ridiculously “elective”… from now on.

Making the decision to look into the future isn’t an easy thing for Mrs. N. to do.  Oh, she CAN LOOK all right, but, it always leaves  her feeling disjointed in time for days on end after.  One little sniff of the blossom of The All-Seeing Orchid that grew out of a bit of crumbled timber, left over from the old garage.. and… away we go.  I saved the handful of rotted wood.  I took it before the clean-up crew from The Department of Energy scooped everything from the garage up, and shipped it to the Savanna Nuclear Disposal Site.  I crumbled it up and used it as a medium in an orchid pot.  I intended to plant it with a cutting, but, never did.  The All-Seeing Orchid grew out of it unannounced.  I leaned in and took a deep sniff……..

In the blink of an eye … It was the future and I was appropriately dressed in the same outfit that David Bowie wore as Ziggy Stardust.

In the future I witnessed nobody ever said anything about another country or a large corporation that wasn’t complimentary anymore.  If you pissed someone with access to capital off they blew your ass up with a drone.  It changed things dramatically.  It changed the meaning of Capitalism.  Capitalists were called “Button Men”, but, more about that later.

Nobody wanted to be a Dictator any more.  Nobody wanted to be President of anything of consequence.  The most dangerous thing a person could do was to become famous and easily recognized.  Minding your own business became a well respected virtue again. Because military spending was but a fraction of what it was in the “pre-drone” days there was lots of tax money left over to spend on elective health care and the arts.  Everybody you knew had face lifts, liposuction and magnificent artificial breasts.   Gardening and interpretive dance flourished.  There were no more State of the Union speeches.  Everybody knew what state we were in.  Presidents and Congress people were selected by lottery.  They served their time, or, they went to jail.  It was the only way to fill Washington DC with warm bodies.  Government was reduced to an absolute minimum.

All the members of government met once a week and decided who should get blown up.  Then they blew them up with drones.  No more war.  They just blew up all the people who were making trouble.  It didn’t take long for all the trouble makers to be blown up.  Then, hardly anybody made any trouble any more.  They don’t call politicians Senators, or Congressmen in the future.  They just call them Button Men.  If you were the leader of a country that was making trouble, or, just some stupid greedy person who annoyed enough people enough…  the Button Men just pressed the button and you got wacked.  BOOM!  A missile falls from the sky at a zillion miles an hour and blows your ass up.  THE END.

Kids in school had a hard time imagining what it was like before the Button Men ran the government.  When they learned that America almost went belly up because the stupid plutocratic son of a greedy plutocratic past President started a war on borrowed money they couldn’t believe it.  They could never be made to grasp the concept of killing millions of people when all you really wanted, or, needed to do was kill the stinker making the trouble.

Teenagers wore T-shirts with pictures of Saddam Hussein on them like they used to wear ones with pictures of Che Guevara and Pink Floyd.  Saddam went down in history, with Hitler & Osama bin Laden, as the 3 most expensive people in history to kill.  Kids couldn’t believe it when they learned how much money was spent.  They were convinced that their parents generation were the stupidest bastards that ever lived.  They never got tired of asking old people to….  Just THINK of what you could have done with that MONEY!

In the future they had taken [In God We Trust] off all the money and National Monuments and replaced it with the same phrase they stenciled on the sides of all the drone missiles.

..”The principal and, indeed, the ONLY thing that is wrong with the world is man.”..  [Jung]

The only thing that wasn’t changed at all in the future was kids thinking their parents generation were stupid bastards.

And, that their parents music really sucked.

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