…”It depends on what the meaning of the words ‘is’ is.” –Bill Clinton
I have a suggestion. When next you finish a roll of toilet paper, or a roll of paper towels, I want you to save that cardboard roll. I want you to write the things that are important to you on the outside of that roll. Write the very important things big and the things of lesser importance smaller. Be sure to include your religious beliefs, political affiliation, sex, economic status, citizenship, race, age, health status, philosophy (optimist or pessimist), marital status, education and all the other individual peculiarities that make you uniquely you. When you think of new ones, write them on there too.
You have just constructed an [IS TUBE]. It belongs to you and you alone because you constructed it out of all the neurologically relative colors, prejudices, feelings, emotions and certainties that make your perception of reality “different” from any other sentient being that ever lived, or will live.
1. Read everything you wrote on your tube and come to grips with the reality that all those things determine what you call real.
2. Look through your tube and realize that only you can see the universe through your tube the way you see it.
3. Never, ever, use the word “IS” again unless you are looking through your tube with the full realization that only your tube makes it so.
4. [WARNING] No one has the correct [IS TUBE].
5. [WARNING] Normal does not exist and average represents but a mathematical abstraction.
OK campers you are almost ready to head out into the big bad world with your new [IS TUBE], never again to use the “you know what” word unless you are looking through your tube with the other eye closed. Before you go I suggest you fill your pockets with as many (it seems to me)s, (the way I see it)s, (from my understanding)s and (it appears)s as you can fit. You are going to need them. You should also keep in mind that any person you interact with who uses the “you know what” word without simultaneously looking through “their” tube should never be taken entirely seriously. They are not being honest with you. Instead, you should wonder to yourself just how incredibly weird it would be to have a look through their tube.
You do understand, I hope, that this represents an exercise.
No, it won’t get rid of cellulite!
You won’t lose any weight.
It will not give you great pecks or a tighter butt.
BUT, it is unconditionally [GUARANTEED] to expand your consciousness in a way that remains legal in most (but not all) locations.