In the winter time when I am cold and the whole world seems locked down I tend to get more pensive. The days are shorter, I don’t much go outside and as a consequence I have a lot more time on my hands. My studio is too cold to work in and the ground, my beloved garden, is doing its very best to hide any hints of what is to come in spring. Life is asleep in my garden. It is silent and still and offering no messages of encouragement to me. I looked today and listened very hard. Nothing.
When the days are short and dark the mammal part of me takes control. It’s a proven fact that my eyelids weigh between two and three times as much in January as they do in July. Beds and sofas become not only softer, but, actually develop a magnetic attraction for my dorsal surfaces that is largely absent during the warmer months. I long to hibernate like a bear or go dormant like a tree, or, at the very least, have the ability to honker down in the autumn mud, secrete a thick mucus coat like a frog and wile away the winter months with dreams of catching fat moths with my tongue.
But I’m not a bear or a tree… or even a frog. Yes, I’m a mammal, but, I’m the most wretched kind of mammal. I’m the mammal that ran so fast in the evolutionary race that it forgot it’s instincts in the process, or, misplaced its instruction manual somewhere along the course. For what ever reason, I have gone past the edges of the map and got lost. It is at the dark and coldest times of the year that I feel that queazy “I’m lost” feeling the most. It’s the dormant times that condemn our brains to reflection and our bodies to sleep.
Every other living thing on this planet is utterly unconcerned with why it is here. Squirrels squirrel, turtles turtle and tuna tuna without a thought of yesterday or a care for tomorrow. They have no need of answers because they have no questions and surely this must be the secret to happiness if, in fact, there is one.
Only humans question. Only humans have been cursed with that questioning “thing”. Only man must learn….
…… What is the purpose of people?